help me leave behind a reason to be missed

Hhhhuurrrggg, I'm so tired. I just want to curl up in a very large, comfortable bed, and sleep until I WANT to wake up. I ache all the time that sometimes, I don't even notice it.

16th birthday next weekend, so far I have a grand total of...two people coming. Uhg, how pathetic am I?
Answer: very.

I'm also, apparently a serial killer.

We had a substitute in Journalism the other day, and he was doing all these little riddles with us, and he did this one, and he said that it was a psychological thing they did with suspected serial killers. He said that serial killers always give the same answer, and that regular people have a bunch of different answers.

"A Girl is at her mothers funeral and she see's a man she's never seen before there. She immediately falls in love with him. She wants to talk to him, but the funeral is in progress, so she waits till after. But after the service, she can't find him.
2 months later, she kills her sister."

The question is why.

Serial Killers will give this answer: "In hopes that she'll see the man at the funeral"

of course, that's the answer I got, mind you, it wasn't my first answer, I had to think on it a little bit, but it just when WHAM, slammed right into me, and I was bouncing in my seat, because I knew that was it, hahah.

I dreamed I was missing,
and you were so scared,
but no one would listen
cause no one else cared

This is getting almost unbearable, I can't take being upset like this all the time, and I don't know how to fix it.